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Gay in lhasa
Fridae’s Beijing correspondent Dinah Gardner travels to Lhasa, Tibet and speaks to young gay and lesbian Tibetans about their lives in the city's small yet flourishing queer scene. (4/2007)
How gay friendly is the Dalai Lama? Well, the charismatic exiled leader of Tibet says he supports gay and lesbian rights. But only for non-Buddhists. Same-sex intercourse, he says, is simply wrong for believers of his faith. In that case, he might be a tad unhappy then, to learn that Lhasa, capital of his estranged Himalayan kingdom, now has a small yet flourishing queer scene.
It’s hard to find, but the city does have a gay bar. Yeshe, a 20-something gay Tibetan who is working as a bar manager for a tourist restaurant in Lhasa, says Lanse Tian Kong (Blue Sky) is quite hidden, but “there are so many gay boys who go there, especially on Friday’s and Saturday’s. It’s packed.” To protect it, its location won’t be given here.
There are also popular cruising spots in the city, says Tenzin Tsetan, a gay Tibetan from India, who runs gaytibet.blogspot.com, a blog with resources on gays and lesbians in the “autonomous region” and Tibetan communities around the world.
“As for gays in Lhasa, I think the way they meet each other is mostly through cruising,” he says. “There are certain public parks and toilets where they tend to go and meet.”
“It seems like there is an underground gay scene in Lhasa,” he adds, “but the community is not vibrant and open and nor is there a support group.”
According to a local lesbian, there are no dyke bars, and girls will rarely go to Blue Sky bar. “We meet each other through friends, or normal bars, or through the Internet,” says 30-year-old Lhundrop.
Lhundrop is wearing baggy jeans and a loose blue sweater. Her hair is cut short and spiky like a typical Chinese T (tomboy).
“I make myself look like a boy because I know it’s easier for girls to like me and accept me like this,” she says. “Occasionally I like other butch girls but usually I like feminine girls.”
It’s doubly difficult for gay Tibetans since not only are they living in China, which is not big on gay rights, but according to their spiritual leader, gay sex is condemned as a sexual misconduct. Even so, some scholars say that in old Tibet, gay sexual play between monks was very common.
“Some people – the younger generation accept homosexuality, but most Tibetans cannot accept it,” says Lhundrop. “I have never told my parents. They are really traditional. They don’t have any experience of this, but I think if I told them they wouldn’t reject me.”
Whereas many closeted Chinese lesbians and gays are pressured by their families to get married, Lhundrop says her parents have given up pushing her.
“I just told them that marriages between men and women in Tibet aren’t really stable these days, there is so much divorce,” she smiles. “Even my parents got divorced, although they are back together now. So I use this as an excuse, I say I don’t want to get married because it will only end in divorce and they accept this and don’t pressure me any more.”She says she is serious about finding a “wife” later and adopting a child.
“I definitely want to settle down later with a girl.”
The table of her friends – a lesbian couple and a gay boy – erupts into laughter. She explains that she’s a bit of a player. “I have had a lot of girlfriends – usually they last about a week.”
Despite a lack of Tibetan gay role models – Tibetan-born crooner Han Hong, is rumoured to be a lesbian but has never publicly come out – Lhundrop says she knew she was a lesbian from the beginning.
“I have never had any feelings for boys, and so I’ve always known I’m a lesbian. I had my first girlfriend when I was 15 years old.”
Tenzin says the gay community is mixed between Chinese and Tibetans, which raises another problem. The relationship between locals and Han migrants is tense. Many Tibetans resent their presence in their city.
This sour relationship is clear at the table. Yeshe says that all the money boys at the Blue Sky bar are Chinese, while Lhundrop says she’s dated Chinese girls but much prefers Tibetans. “I’ll never settle down with a Chinese girl,” she says.
But, Dawa, a flamboyant, 25-year-old Tibetan gay man, dressed in a white pleather suit jacket and union jack loafers, says he loves his Chinese boyfriend.
One of the main problems, says Tenzin, is that there is so little visibility for gay Tibetans.
“Among the Tibetan communities both inside and outside Tibet, there is zero visibility of homosexuals although we do exist. On 9 December, two members of the Tibetan gay community, Tenzin and Jampa, both Tibetan expats living in the US went on air on a Tibetan webcasting forum and spoke openly about their lives as gays. This was the first time any Tibetan came out publicly.”
In that case, what a great move it would be for Tibet’s new generation of lesbians if Han, provided she really is gay of course, had the balls to come out to her public.

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His Holiness the Dalai Lama Speaks on Gay matters

by Dennis Conkin
Bay Area Reporter, June 19th, 1997

The Dalai Lama, world-revered leader of millions of Buddhists and leader of the Tibetan people, spoke out strongly against discrimination and violence against lesbians and gays during an extraordinary Wednesday, June 11 meeting in San Francisco with lesbian and gay Buddhists, clergy, and human rights activists.

The religious leader said at the press conference that he had previously been asked his views on gay marriage, and said that such social sanction of gay relationships "has to be judged in the context of the society itself and the laws and social norms." During the 45-minute meeting, the Nobel peace laureate and Buddhist religious leader voiced his support for the full recognition of human rights for all people, regardless of sexual orientation.

Buddhist sexual proscriptions ban homosexual sexual activity and heterosexual sex through orifices other than the vagina, including masturbation or other sexual activity with the hand. Buddhist proscriptions also forbid sex at certain times - such as during full and half moon days, the daytime, and during a wife's menstrual period or pregnancy - or near shrines or temples. Adultery is considered sexual misconduct, but the hiring of a female prostitute for penile-vaginal sex is not, unless one pays a third party to procure the person.

From a "Buddhist point of view," lesbian and gay sex "is generally considered sexual misconduct," the Dalai Lama told reporters at a press conference a day earlier.

However, such proscriptions are for members of the Buddhist faith - and from "society's viewpoint," homosexual sexual relations can be "of mutual benefit, enjoyable, and harmless," according to the Dalai Lama.

"His Holiness was greatly concerned by reports made available to him regarding violence and discrimination against gay and lesbian people. His Holiness opposes violence and discrimination based on sexual orientation. He urges respect, tolerance, compassion, and the full recognition of human rights for all," said Office of Tibet spokesman Dawa Tsering in a statement issued within an hour of the meeting.

Photographs of the historic event were taken, but were available only on the condition that participants' quotes be reviewed prior to publication. That condition violates journalistic canons regarding the freedom of the press. The Bay Area Reporter declined any conditions for the release of the photographs and has lodged a protest with the National Gay and Lesbian Journalism Association over their embargo.

Concern about violence

The extraordinary meeting was held at the Buddhist leader's suite at the Fairmont Hotel, on the last day of "Peacemaking: The Power of Non-Violence," a three-day conference held at Bill Graham Civic Auditorium.

Sponsored by The California Institute of Asian Studies and Tibet House, the conference featured plenary sessions, workshops, and discussions with a wide array of international, national, and local human rights and violence prevention and intervention leaders, including Pulitzer Prize-winning author Alice Walker, actor Edward James Olmos, East Timor human rights leader and Nobel laureate Jose Ramos-Horta, and others, including a representative of Nobel peace laureate and Guatemalan peace activist Rigoberta Menchu.

The meeting with lesbians and gays followed a January 1996 report by the Bay Area Reporter that detailed an open letter by Buddhist AIDS Project coordinator Steve Peskind, asking the world-revered spiritual leader of millions of Buddhists to publicly clarify his published contradictory statements on homosexuality.

Peskind said that he was motivated by concern about the violence and harm caused to lesbian and gays around the world through pronouncements against homosexual sexual activity by Buddhist religious leaders such as the Dalai Lama.

Many gay and lesbian Buddhists have reported virulenty anti-gay sentiments and teachings from religious teachers in Tibetan and other Buddhist practice lines.

A former Tibetan Buddhist monk, Peskind is a well-known figure in Buddhist and AIDS circles and is a co-founder of the San Francisco-based Shanti Project and Coming Home Hospice.

When asked last January by the Bay Area Reporter if the Dalai Lama might meet with Peskind or other lesbian and gay Buddhists leaders during the June conference, a California Institute For Integral Studies special events organizer initially indicated that such a tete-a-tete would be unlikely.

Gay and lesbian political and anti-violence leaders including Supervisor Tom Ammiano and Lester Olmstead-Rose quickly joined with Peskind, asking for the clarification of the religious leader's statements proclaiming homosexual sex as sexual misconduct.

Warm and relaxed

The possibility of organized gay and lesbian protest, including a high-profile public information ad campaign conducted in the national media such as the New York Times - and conference site picketing - was defused after the flap was discussed during a cabinet session of the Tibetan government-in-exile in Dharamsala, India, and a meeting with Peskind and others was scheduled by the Office of Tibet.

Peskind and Buddhist AIDS Project co-leader Jim Purfield were also hastily invited by Tibet House conference organizers to present a workshop on homophobia and violence with representatives of Community United Against Violence. The workshop drew an estimated 50 participants, many of them lesbian and gay. Several AIDS prevention and social service professionals who work with lesbian and gay youth also attended that workshop.

The private meeting between representatives of the lesbian and gay community and the Dalai Lama was described as "warm and relaxed."

The Dalai Lama also expressed interest in the insights of modern scientific research on homosexuality and its value in developing new understanding of Buddhist texts that nix homosexual activity, participants said.

Reiterating in the private meeting that he did not have the authority to unilaterally reinterpret Buddhist scriptures, the Dalai Lama also urged those present to build a consensus among other Buddhist traditions and communities to collectively change the understanding of the Buddhist scriptural references on sexuality for contemporary society, according to a joint statement issued by participants.

During the meeting, the Dalai Lama also candidly acknowledged that he did not know the foundations of scriptural proscriptions against sexual activity or where they originated, Peskind said.

Participants also said the Dalai Lama expressed the "willingness to consider the possibility that some of the teachings may be specific to a particular cultural and historic context."

Dogmatic response

According to longtime Buddhist observer and writer Scott Hunt, whose 1993 interview with the leader was published in the January/February 1994 Out magazine, the response of the Dalai Lama to the controversy over the teachings is significant.

Hunt said the religious leader could have put forth the underlying "moral underpinnings" of the strictures - and clearly stated the basis and positive effects of such teachings.

Instead, Hunt said, by propounding the teachings without such discussion, the Dalai Lama seems to be "engaging in dogmatic repetition" and is apparently unable to substantiate their beneficial character, and because of his response, the validity of the teachings have been cast "into serious doubt." Vigorous debate about such issues and exception to the views of religious leaders such as the Dalai Lama are neither heresy or disrespectful in Buddhist traditions.

"In fact, it's the practitioner's duty to examine dogmatic views and to determine their validity," Hunt said. During the private session, the religious teacher told the activists they would have a harder time changing Buddhist scripture and tradition than advocating for their human rights based on Buddhist principles, according to Peskind. Organized for the Office of Tibet by attorney Eva Herzer, president of the International Committee of Lawyers For Tibet, the historic meeting included Herzer, Peskind, Buddhist Peace Fellowship activist and Claremont Graduate School Professor of Education Lourdes Arguelles, and Jose Ignacio Cabezon, a gay Buddhist scholar and professor at Iliff School of Theology in Denver, Colorado.

Other participants included the Ven. K.T. Shedrup Gyatso, a fully ordained and openly gay Buddhist monk and teacher who is the spiritual director of the San Jose Tibetan Temple; International Gay And Lesbian Human Rights Commission co-chair Tinku Ali Ishtiaq; and former Congregation Sha'ar Zahav Rabbi Yoel Khan.

"There is still room for movement," Ishtiaq told the Bay Area Reporter. But the human rights activist said the Dalai Lama's support for lesbian and gay rights is "very significant."

Ishtiaq said that the Nobel laureate commands tremendous respect around the world and hoped the leader's historic statement would have "considerable impact on non-Buddhist religious traditions." A conference on Buddhism, sex, gender, and diversity issues is being planned, following the historic meeting with the world religious leader.

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